OH....MECHANTE FILLE!

L'ENVIE m'envahis de laisser le REBEL en moi faire surface.

Ce soir je veux tout recommencer.....

Je m'assume ENTIEREMENT....
Mr. Le Juge...je contribue...je suis une citoyenne credibile.
Il y a seulement une facon....BLANC ou NOIR.....

L'univer vous salut alors.....

Allez.....FLY-MON-ANGE.....laisse cette CONSCIENCE s'envole.
5..4...3...2........satisfaction garanti!

Ou suis-je?
Legerement ENGOURDI....
Je chute......HEY......PREND MA MAIN....

What goes up must come down!
OUFF.... ralenti....reprend ton souffle...

                                       .......sans blessure apparante?

The Making Of An Empire

That mega-Empire just so happens to

 be The Me, Myself, and I.

You'd think I'd get a trill dramatizing

 my emotions in profound sorrow.

Acting-out like a big-baby in words.

But honestly, depression hurts.

For many years, 

I was a lost-Soul with no-where to go.

Writing simply-described what made me feel

so wobbly and out-of-balance.

Living-the-moment.

It was no-way an accident that I was

to-be-on such a bumpy-road in this life-time.

I don't cry as much anymore.

Maybe because, 

I've learned to put words on my sufferings.

The message to re-focus my direction.

Guess I'm growing-up.

I strongly-need somekinda philosophical-reasoning to all this.

So I juggled life's-challenges one-by-one

and gotta to know myself better.

Over-n-over again,

relationships were eating me-up inside-n-out.

Why wasn't it working for me?

A symptom of depression is solitude,

and THERE I UNDERSTOOD!

I understood I needed alone-time.

Like two-was-a-crowd!

No-interruptions to the conversations in my head.

I understanding takes-off alot of guilt.

Mega-to-defining my destiny.

Writing was the coming together of everything I am,

and everything I want to be.

                               And that's O.K. too!

p.s.  Forty-something is maybe less about PROJECTS,

        and more about PASSIONS! 

Couple-of-Milligrams of Dopamine and A Hand-full of Serotonin

Dopamine?   Serotonin?
Research has conceived!
Yeap...HAPPY-PILL ingredients.


Don't act so shy...Are-you beneficiary and ashamed?
Then shame-on you...


Only 40-to-55% of the country's population 
have the HAPPY-gene at birth.
What about the rest of us?  Well, we just have to learn.
And it's through our emotions
that we will do so.


So take-out your surf-board because
it's a bumpy-journey!
And like I mentioned;  we're not all granted
the HAPPY-proof packaged-deal to start-off with.


You'll be tossed around brutally.
"Past" has brought you to shore.
But it's too hard to keep up...exhausting striving to appear-normal?
What if others were to notice....Now that would be The Worst!


Life hasn't treated you always nicely.
But you did a good-job hanging-in-there.


Take your medication as recommended by you doctor.
Go with the flow.
You can only maintain balance if your in motion.


The HAPPY-PILL will only help you stay in the game.

....so say "chee..se"
and smile for the camera!

Perverted Thoughts.

We say ''yes'' when We mean ''no''.
Is that what I haven't gotten....Yet?
Or maybe I have.... And the Others haven't!

It's possible?
Yeap... There's possibilities.

Feel like stomping my-feet on the hard-wood-floor.
An animated-Western-tune playing on the juke-box.
Very exhausting...otherwise, boring-to-death!

It's My thoughts right Now.
Lately...all-to-often too.

The BLACK-and-WHITE photograph of-the-same-image.
Just another expression!
...little-fade
...little-cold.
The in-between GRAY!
...lacking-energy
...lacking-sensitivity.
Nor-black and nor-white.

''Can you ''feel'' what I'm saying?''
I'm not talking about depression or an-illness.
You know...The week's Wednesday...or Walmart stores!
The reality...that's all.
Not the same as yesterday...
Most-surely, different tommorrow.

(it's as if you can almost taste-it..)
Stale-GRAY....

Unfortunately, I'm sorry...
But thank-you anyways just for trying to understand.
                                                   ....or maybe You-do?

ANGELS and DEMONS

I clutch my sheets tightly to my chin.

Growling anxiously;

''I don't want to get up!''

Everyday I preferred to huddle in my blankets.

Lids-shut not to eye-witness day-light.

It's those brutal Demons again.

Knocking and knocking every darn night.

''HUSH...LISTEN....''

Vibration like noisy-thunder to my body!

Days-up and days-down,

Desperately I question it's necessity?

I've discovered that my brain could be my true enemy!

''BUZZ-BUZZ''

To my ear-drums only to sting me like a bubble-bee.

''OUCH!''

And ''OUCH'' again for those tears that began

with a whisper of-some-sort.

Painful and torturous to my thoughts.

Suddenly, one day when life knocks you down,

you land on your back instead of your head!

Eye-balls half popped-out,

you'll see that fade-light.

It's not as dark anymore.

Oh, my Angels must be near-by.

I can hear a murmur...

''THEN HUSH AND LISTEN...

WHAT ARE THEY WHISPERING?''

That there isn't any big secret in life.

Heaven-and-Earth aren't mine.

And be-that-as it may.....

Things will continue to come crashing-down!

Whether I like it or not!

''AND?''

To consider that there still is alot

of learning to do....

And that till my last breath!

WHY BLOG ANYWAYS?

Who cares what was said out-loud last night!

Did anybody take the time to listen?

Did anybody even care?

But if the words you said had a significance on One's feelings or emotions

...AH THEN WORDS HAVE POWER!

If  ''posts'' of   NURSALICIOUS   mean nothing to you,

then its just words on a white page.

The most profound moments can be a challenge to describe.

Shaping-an-image with precise words.. Kinda like drawing a picture!

Writing  NURSA-and-LICIOUS ...I have nothing to prove!
Only an eye-wink of my personality...White-or-black, rarely grey.

Smashing antagonisms may I add!

The hero of my blog trives to find words towards the path of awareness.

For words reveal plenty on One's beliefs and thoughts. 

Wouldn't you get up and run if you recognized you weren't

where your suppose to be?

Hero states there's nothing to fear if your telling yourself the truth.

Seems so incoherant in my world.

Then again...Is living fiction a lie?

Didn't think so either!

WINGS-R2-FLY

( author and hero  of the blog! )  
                    

  

Change Jobs, Change Cars, Even Go Trade Your Soulmate....But You Can't Trade-In 'YOU'

''YES''  I have an urge to throw in my towel.  Both hands in the air, waving a little white-flag!
Life has blessed me more then my share.  And....life has also smacked me in the face.  
Emotionaly wounded and ashamed.  
 Life-lessons?   Whatever that's expected to mean!

 I give outsiders the perception of living hale and hearty. 
Fully-human!  Fully-awake!  And, of course...   Fully-Alive!  

Come-on now,  ''Really?''   We're working more hours. We're getting less sleep.  Plus we're experiencing bizarre aches and pains!  

Body's way of saying...Oups!   ''Don't forget to take care of yourself.'' 
Your nerves give-in.  You can't tolerate your environment anymore.

''SOMEBODY STOP THIS FREAKED-OUT HAMSTER FROM RUNNING AROUND IN MY HEAD!''

An astonishing  FACT is 70% of our total-energy ...IS emotional fuel!   Bet you didn't know that!

We care for our bodies, but we're lousy taking care of our Souls.   Should for some reason we lack energy, even our dreams can't survive. Unlike physical-energy, which runs down-hill as we get older..BUT..  emotional-energy is expected to increase with the years since we have a better comprehension of ourselves.

Emotions are just  momentary-seconds.

Our moods can last for days.

And, our temperament forges itself over time.

See why its powerful to take care of what we feel following an event.  We pratice this tool at work.

Especially following a difficult intervention.  It's hard to keep balanced and healthy in this modern world...even for the fittest!

Everyone needs to believe the future holds something better.  Even if you can't see the other-side.

Until you are on stronger-grounds and feel a little more healthy.. Build from baby-steps! 

Before you know it, you will have stumbled upon what it takes to wake-up

in the morning and realize your ''THRILLED TO BE ALIVE! ''